Gridlock

Gridlock 3/19

I'm trying to write like A. R. Ammons : an exercise in avoidance
His poems went book-length reenacted long life : I write
to avoid looking into graves to prepare for my longness

See here here right next to the quarry in Zion a grand
mother in the windy November of 2007 a hole surrounded
with Astroturf : can't we even bare fresh dirt? :
I want to plant daffodils snowdrops something that comes
up early

So that when I think of my grandmother I can think of my dead aunt
who was born in the spring

On the shelf in the living room her urn vanishes at Christmas
to 'not bother guests' : My aunt was dying
the whole year I lived there on a couch watching TV until the sun
came up : no one sits in her chair

These small spheres of people form city blocks in my head
I'm getting real sentimental letting myself get bleary-eyed : I walk
those blocks and try to look for signs of spring find buds
a few drops of rain a first bee though is dead on the sidewalk