Poem-A-Day #64 : Funny Business

Funny Business

Outside the wind is tearing the dirt from the ground - the sound of whistles reminds me of screaming audiences and balloons being squeezed of their air

And my mind wanders back tot he TV and the man on the screen is riffing quickly:

          She's like a walking talking Stephen Hawking

          She's brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage ceiling

I think about the space between the glass in the window and the seal in the frame - gaps in time - that moment when word hits the air and then settles on the ground like ashes

Here is a joke

Here is the pause between sound waves and atoms

          There's lots of sexual positions named for superheores - the Spiderman - the Superman
          The other night a guy said Batman and I asked him what is the Batman

          He said it's when you kill her parents

There is the sound of clicking out int he street - rain on the glass that is actually not water but grains of sand lifting themselves in flight

There is the moment of dissonance - cognitive - otherwise - the trembling of muscles as they turn your neck to see the darkness outside be opaque in itself

• The jokes are Jimmy Carr's

Nebbish

This is a joke.

Just to let you know.


Nebbish 8/5

Semite Shoes ™ are the ones with the cool double S logo
they look like lightning bolts – the Nazi kind
It’s some sort of reclamation of a shared history – the
ironic re-branding of footless shoes
They come in two colors – black and white

Gut-buster

I should point out that I do not find horses sexually arousing.

But they do have nice skin.


Gut-buster 7/11

A horse walked into a bar
            on it’s hind legs
That subtle arching below the knees
            that slides gracefully
to the hoof
            Is what caught my
eye – made me notice
            that this was a real honest-
to-god horse
            It had balls and cock
and the whole wax
            A mane all running over
its shoulders like some Fabio
            A clopping of metal
shoes on wood floor
            This horse was 100%
He sat in the corner alone
            ordered some horsey
drink – I watched him all night
            feeling that burn
between my legs
            His dark oil pool eyes
blinked at me with long lashes

Cowboy

I get tired of serous poems very quickly. I sometimes have fantasies of writing nothing but one line poems with ridiculous punchlines.

Maybe when I'm old.


Cowboy 6/3

I can dress like a cowboy - walk around
no one will bat an eye - but
if you come around
dressed in your teddy bear outfit
someone might think we're furries

Glee

I'm not a huge fan of Glee, but this is pretty hilarious.

Bissextile

Bissextile (2/28)

He gives some comment about dating a Leap Year baby - jokes
about turning 48 when she is 12

Pedophilia jokes are only funny on extra days