15 July 2007

A Two Hour Tour

I've been sitting on this for week because I wasn't sure what to say. Hayley and I went back to Zoe.

I know I know We honestly wanted a fight, begging for it really. We were also hoping that it would go well this time.

We got there at brunch on a Saturday, the place was far busier than I'd ever seen it (including the previous post Piaf visit). The burger that we had so desperately wanted the last time was right in the middle of the menu. This was a dilemma, I was feeling breakfasty this day, but wanted to also make a point of our return trip.

I went with my gut and had an incredible blue corn pancake stack for $12. The pancakes were a lovely purple color with blueberry topping and mascarpone cheese. Hayley had chicken for some dollars I don't know about, it was a touch dry, but tasty. I had a nice glass of iced tea, she nursed a hangover with sparkling water. Zoe doesn't have mineral water, which was problem #1. The second was a lack of mint leaves in my tea...every other table was getting them...Bitches. If these were the only two problems though, I really have to hand it to them.

AND - On our way out they gave us a box of free cookies. A tad suspicious. Maybe they read blogs? It was lucky that we had those treats because we ended up on a boat ride from hell.

Hayley had been on me for a few weeks to go with her on a Circle Line tour around the isle Manhattan. I promised...and the Saturday after the 4th seemed like as good a day as any.

These tours are for tourists. Which we knew. What we were unprepared for was the mind-numbing narration by our 'captain'. Every 5 minutes were were told how 'tragic' and 'sad' September 11, 2001 was. How there was '2' no '3' no '4' inches of debris and soot on everything below 14th street. It went on...one second it was all 'over here you can buy useless crap..and on September 10, 2001 you could have bought some here...'

2 hours of tedium, but with snarky comments.

After the heat of the day I was ready for a drink, but wait a minute! The Snapple cost $4. That's US dollars folks. I ate the cookies with Hayley and watched Lady Liberty recede then reappear while slowly drying up like a cadaver in a desert. I checked my watch against the Colgate clock, wondered about visiting Governors Island, thought about how Battery Park is a pile of trash with grass on top. The whole time I was wishing I had noise canceling headphones and some mint tea.

Zoe is back on my list of good things in SoHo
4 stars for the meal...2 for lack of mint.

Circle Line gets -2 for expensive drinks and stunted narration.