Poem-A-Day #285 : The Alarm is Going

The Alarm is Going

The alarm is going again -

It has been 15 years 8 years 2 years 1 month -
                    it was yesterday -

I stood in front of the Madonna - the one from 1290
Duccio
               - the painting is on peeling wood

Around her head the gold is sculpture - it is an object grown - the tree gave birth to this fully framed woman

The child reaches for her veil -
                    not yet - not yet -

A etches across the surface - it highlights her sadness - is a weight on her
like the oddly proportioned child -

          too small - too adult looking - a doll really

He reaches for her veil -
continues to reach -

You died on this day - or that day -

                                        the alarm is going again - I am not sleeping -

                         I blame the moon for this - it gets fucked by us too often - blamed for all atrocities - I blame it and the light it steals - the fucking rabbit that lives upon its face -

The rabbit hitched a ride on the back of the heron
          its small white paws going raw from the gravity of what they were doing

they landed and the rabbit reached one bloody hand towards the heron's face
and marked it forever -

The alarm has been going for hours -
                    and I feel like I should have burned up by now

Death isn't fear -

          at least not on the surface - I like to think that I understand this but -

The child reaches for the mother's veil -

                    His hand touches the edge of the loose fabric - blue and shimmering -
          his oddly small fingers pull at the edge - her eyes reveal themselves -

The leaves of gold peel steadily -

Madonna & Child (1290-1300)
Duccio

Poem-A-Day #162 : Wood (Part 9 : Alyssum)

You can read Part One of this super long poem HERE.


Wood (Part 9 : Alyssum)

I stand at the dumpster and I think about how none of it matters in the end : I mean really matters : one day you and I will both be gone and a few people who will also be gone will remember us for a second : geologically even the trees will be forgotten before the rocks will give up the ghost :

I'm thinking about throwing out the frame it was an ex-boyfriend's it held photos of his family and there is that part of me that wants to hold on to even these fractured bits : like that dead tree at the garden with the crown all dried and brittle : why not take it down and get on with it :

The garden I planted on the patio died within a few weeks of starting it I'm convinced that it's because I didn't burn sage but it's probably just that the sun is wrong here : I planted poppies and nasturtiums and morning glory and not a one happened :

My grandmother's both kept gardens : simple and beautiful they dominate the nature of my memories : one with her vegetables and black-eyed susan and zinnia the other with peony and flowing geraniums and mint : both with fruit trees that I do not remember ever producing :

I think about alyssum and their softly ombré colors : purple into white : purple in : I'm again reminded of dogwood and the slightly tinged edges : the color of the inner rings of wood : a dark vein that bleeds out into light blondness :

You run your fingers over those veins for a moment : they are raised and the softer parts between lower with age and less hydration : everything darkens and will bleach of color eventually : dark veins raise and harden like a preserved body :

Can a tree be taxidermied : can the branches be raised into angelic wings and the flesh peeled back to reveal the muscle beneath and all of it mounted on a platform and lit nicely like a ghoulish tableau of what nature could look like if it were a horror movie :

Poem-A-Day #157 : Wood (Part 4 : On Bears)

Wood (Part 4 : On Bears)

It's the scar that is a forest fire but on my hand : thin thread-like thing that aches in the rain : Do you suppose that the forest aches in the rain that it feels intensely what has come before like a phantom limb : over here was Jerry he was a good tree I miss Jerry : or do you suppose the forest forgets immediately : that to continue for so long you have to drop the baggage at the door :

There's a theory that you are most likely to forget if you go through a doorway : something about exiting a space and entering another causes the brain to lose track of itself : it's the need to reconfigure : the brain has to analyze and create the room you are going in to so it drops the one you left at the threshold in a sort of shopping bag that it can come back to in a moment if needed :

Brains are correcting for interference at all times : turning things right side up changing the color making sense of the live feed coming from all directions : all fingers in the air looking for which way the wind blows :  stick your finger in your mouth : which way does it blow : you don't have to do that but it's always good to know the weather :

I stayed at a small casita in Taos for three months working on a novel : the walls were always cool to the touch and felt smooth like porcelain : the front door was thick wood that wouldn't close all the way you'd have to shoulder it in place while you turned the lock or it would pop open in the middle of the night after everything cooled :

There was a large black bear that hung around the place and would raid the trash at night : once when I was feeling particularly brave I flung open the door and yelled into the night : the bear sat a few feet away eating some paper my outburst had forced it to pause mid-bite : it stared at me like a child caught eating cookies before dinner I apologized and watched it until it was done :

I've only had a moment with one other bear : I was in the car and it was raining it must have been in high school or the first year after I started college so 1999 or 2000 or something like that : it was raining and we stopped at the bank because my mother was driving and needed cash from the ATM and for some reason she stopped not in a parking spot : probably because it was raining :

My grandmother and I were in the car and two small bear cubs came from around the corner of the bank towards the main road and then across it quickly the mother came next watching head back and forth searching for danger : we held out breath even though we were a good distance from her : she looked at us then went : my mother came moments later and didn't believe us :