Poem-A-Day #127 : Ode to Rain

I attempted to to turn this not a real ode into a real ode. Sort of.

The Original :

Ode To The Figure (4/15/99)

Through the dense fog

a figure moves.

The blinded moon

watched as silently 

as it could.

Green-toed rains

creep in on mouse feet.

The clicking of H2O

forms into droplets

causes shelters to fill.

Through the dense fog

a figure stands there still.

Edit :

Ode to Rain

Through this wall-like fog a shrouded figure drifts

Bleached rags spindle in the darkness and light - The

green-toed rain creeps slantwise across the earth on silent mouse-like feet

The sound of clicking water forms into pear-

shaped droplets - Each being seeks a shelter

There is joy in damp as life flows from the figure's fingertips

Through the dense wall-like fog the figure stands vigil.